Tough job, but somebody has to do it

A couple of days into my volunteer work at the Olympics and I'm still just as excited as I was before it started. The experiences over the past few days have been phenomenal! Starting with the dress rehearsal of the opening ceremony, which was fantastic. It was just so special, the beat of those drums, vibrating through the whole stadium, the smells and sounds and sights of the countryside being transformed by the industrial revolution and the music jumping and pounding. I will remember it for a long, long time.  Then the next day in Hyde park, watching emile sante, eliza Doolittle, the wanted and dizzie rascal in the blazing hot sun, enjoying a few lagers....

Follow that with a trip to the Olympic park, lying on the grass and watching the games on a huge screen, then watching the opening ceremony in kensington gardens in the Russian park. What a week!  I am so lucky to be experiencing all those things.  And indeed to be part of the Olympic games, lapping up the atmosphere, joining in with the happy crowds has been amazing.

Olympics

I am all packed and ready to go in the morning. Looking forward not only to the Olympics, but also a bit of sunshine. The weather up here has been dreadful this week. All day today we've had either drizzle or full blown rain, plus at work thick fog surrounding the factory. Summer?

So as I have heard its hot in the south, I am keen to explore the sun.
My first adventure tomorrow is to catch a bus. I can't remember the last time I was on a bus (in this country). It'll be a novel experience...

The the train to euston, where I will meet up with pals. tomorrow evening is the technical dress rehearsal for the opening ceremony and I have a ticket. Excited! My cousin is actually performing in it too, with her dance students.

On Thursday we are going to a concert in Hyde park, which will be great if the weather stays warm. The bands include some I know and some I've never heard of, but are new, modern bands. Getting old, me!
There will be Dizzee rascal, Katy B, Eliza Doolittle, Wretch 32, The wanted, you me at six among others.
I do like eliza Doolittle, good songs. Not sure about Dizzee.....

Then on saturday a trip to the Olympic park and up the orbit, before I start work.

I'm a lucky ole soul :-)

A good Monday

The weather was appalling today. When I got to work this morning there was a howling wind and belting rain. Had to dash from the car to the office to avoid a drenching. Apparently it's hot in the Sarf! I've had scary weather forecasts of temperatures in the 80s. it's going to be such hard work down there.....

Apart from the weather, it was a good Monday. Spent part of the day putting together a training session for the shop floor that I am delivering tomorrow. The subject wasn't altogether thrilling but I got play with the new PowerPoint. It hasn't changed as much as MS Access, which seems to have gone through a major overhaul. PowerPoint has improved a bit though.
COSHH and safety is the subject of the training - trying to get across the hazards of using certain materials in the factory. And some of the materials do have real hazards, eg Acetone, with it's low flashpoint. Anyway, well see how well the training is received tomorrow.

The other good thing about today is that my new tv arrived. In the end I got a 42" LED HD smart tv, which is great. What a difference from the old one. Hadn't realised just how out of focus that tv was! Plus this one is so big I can read everything on the screen, even without me specs!
It does loads of stuff as well as being a tv too! I can surf the net, stream music from my iPod, connect to my PC, play a slides how of my photos... If only I could teach it to cook, it would be worth the money.

Then this evening I cleared up the garden, so that my neighbour can cut down the Bay tree while I'm away. It's got so out of hand lately. Although its lovely to have bay leaves on tap, there's no sunlight in the garden any more... So it is destined to go.

Finished up with a bit of packing for my trip; all in all a pretty good Monday.
Now I need to go to bed as I have a new book to start. It's called Tideline by Penny Hancock. Sounds good.

Growing up

With the ISO paperwork behind me for now, I only have two more days to work before heading off down to London for my games maker stint at the Olympics. I'm really quite excited about being in among the Olympic atmosphere, an event that isn't likely to happen here again in my lifetime.

Now it's kind of cool and 'fashionable' to mock the Olympics. But while once over I would have said nothing when faced with people criticising and taking the mick out of the event, nowadays I'm much more likely to argue the case for being excited and pleased the games have come to London. I don't care so much about conforming and being 'cool'.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a major breakthrough with my counsellor. To most people, I would suspect that it sounds like nothing. But to me it was like a revelation!
So much so, that I feel very different now. It's like I have finally grown up...

When I started with my major meltdown over three years ago, it was all triggered by the beliefs I had held all my life. Those beliefs might sound silly to most people, but they have had such a negative and restricting effect on my life that when I discovered they might not be true, I lost the plot!

Without going into loads of detail, I had always believed that I was worthless, ugly and useless. I know, it sounds like I'm fishing for compliments, but that's not so. I really did believe that nobody liked me, that I was the most unattractive person and that it would be impossible to get someone to love me.

I guess that sounds a bit daft, doesn't it? But it virtually turned me into a recluse, the beliefs were so strong. Some bad things happened many years ago that reaffirmed those beliefs and I just knew that I was destined to be alone all my life, cos who the hell would want to be with me?

I started to question those beliefs after I turned 50. That year I decided to start doing things I enjoyed; I lost weight, got a bit girlie, caught up with some old friends. Then, miracle of miracles I fell in love for the first time. And what's more, I felt loved and I felt attractive.

But that mixed me up so much, I was a complete mess. Everything I'd believed was turned on its head. Friends I thought were doing the best for me, seemed now to be working against me; fighting against the way I was going. It was a complete nightmare.

Until I met the most wonderful counsellor at the end of last year. Together, we worked through all the things that have happened, and although I started to blame people from my distant past, eventually we got through it and slowly I have come to understand myself.

It's no good blaming those people, even though some of the things they did were horrible. But it's such a long time ago, I have accepted that those things happened, there's nothing I can do to change them, so I must move forward and not let those things hold me back. What I can do is change how I react to those memories and how I feel about myself

So guess what? That was the big revelation.... I am in charge of my own destiny, I no longer need the approval of other people. Whatever I do with my life from now on, it's my decision - no-one else's. And I'm not worthless. I'm ok. I'm a good friend, kind and loyal and I would never harm any living creature. Ok, I'm still not the most attractive person in the world, that I can't change, but maybe my beauty is within.....

I actually like myself for the first time in my life and it feels good. plus now that I like myself I find I am appreciating my friends a lot more. And I am hoping they will reciprocate and like me right back! What's not to like? Lol....

I have some way to go before Im 'back to normal' whatever that is. But I am looking forward to deciding for myself how my future will be. One of the things I reckon I need is to spend some time on my own and find out who the real me really is.

Nice....

Been an odd day today. This morning we had a very long meeting about the demise of our final salary pension scheme, which seemed to result in a lot of peed off people. I am taking it quite calmly it seems, maybe because I wasn't surprised at the news that the pension was going. Its happening in most private sector companies, so it was only a matter of time.

What I was surprised at; nay shocked; was the attitude of some of my colleagues after we learned about the savings plan that will replace the old scheme. Of course, for those of us that were in the final salary scheme, the new one isn't so good. But the company has improved the savings plan and upped their contribution, added a few sweeteners, etc. so the people who were already in the savings plan are getting a better pension deal.

What shocked me was the selfishness that emerged from a lot of people who complained bitterly that the existing savings members shouldn't be getting an improved plan. They wanted the extra money paid into a separate, better plan just for themselves!

Wow..... No wonder the world is a selfish place. I'm all right, jack. Bugger the others.
Maybe I'm a dinosaur, but I still like fairness.....

After the long meeting, I had to try and get back into the ISO procedures. I wasn't entirely successful in that as I was pension addled. So I gave up and did some practical stuff instead.

This evening took a turn for the better as I headed off to Penrith to a jazz singing session with Jilly Jarman. She runs a fab session, where we all get to sing, improvise individually. This week, even better - she had with her a girl with a double bass, who was superb. We all got the chance to sing, with mikes, on our own with piano, bass and guitar. Really enjoyed it. Nice.....

I nicked the nice from a friend who said it earlier, reminding me of those sketches on the fast show with John thomson.

A thoroughly good evening, with a carful of good company to travel to and from Penrith.

Tomorrow, back to the procedures! Hey, ho. :-)

Mind boggled

Was going to do a blog post tonight, but my brain is well and truly boggled!
I've spent all day trying to make sense of ISO14001 environmental management systems.

Phew...

That standard isn't half woolly. I'm trying to interpret it and put in procedures that cover the standard. Probably getting there now, but I wish I could get my hands on the people who wrote the flipping thing.

Unfortunately, when thinking about my blog and what to write, all that would pop into my mind were environmental aspects and impacts and ways to calculate the risks for every aspect....

Oh crap! Time for beddy byes I think....
Got a book to finish that might help me get air pollution and waste out of my tiny brain :-)

Ps. Gave up on fifty shades. It was rubbish. I think even I could write better than that. So the book I'm finishing is a slightly better written one.

Friendship

Several things have happened over the last few weeks that have made me think about the meaning of friendship.

And what it has made me realise is that being a friend is what I am really good at. Ok I'm quite good at a couple other other things, like drawing, computers,etc. but the thing I am really good at is being a good friend.

The first thing tha happened was a trip away with two friends who are both going through some tough times. And over the weekend they both talked through their problems with me and I listened, advised if necessary, but mostly listened. And at the end of the trip, one of them gave me a huge hug and said that she felt so much calmer after talking to me and that I had helped her so much to think clearly about what she should do. It was like she'd given me a million quid!

The next thing was concerning a man at work who is a good friend. He has been going through hell at work and I've been letting him talk aboutbthebissues for weeks and weeks. He talks, I let him and listen. He's talked, shouted and even cried in my office, but I was there when he needed me to be. When he decided enough was enough, I talked through the options with him and he left the company. The only person he contacted after he left was me, to tell me how grateful he was for my friendship and how he would never have got through it all without my support. I felt quite humble.

Some of you reading this will know that I have lost my way a bit over the last few years. And the depression I was in caused me to seek the help of counsellors. I've seen three in all! Not every counsellor is right for you.... But the last one was absolutely lovely. She helped me so much and on my last visit, she tole me that she wished we didn't have the counsellor/client relationship. I was a bit shocked, until she clarified what she meant. She said that it's not ethical for us to be friends after counselling, but she wished we'd met under different circumstances because I was someone who would make a wonderful friend. Then she said I would make a good counsellor, which is strangely what the previous counsellor also said. She added that she could see me with my own practice doing counselling a therapy...

The combination of these things has made me realise who i am again, and what my future is going to be. I am going to make more friends and I am going to enjoy them. Celebrate them! That's who I am - a good friend, loyal and true. Someone who would never divulge a confidence, who is always ready to listen, help and support. And it makes me happy to do that. The idea of training to be a counsellor is very appealing too. I like my current job and I'm quite good at it, but how worthwhile would it be to actually help people? Maybe even change somebody's life for the better... Now that would be rewarding.

Talking of friends, one of them bought me a fifty shades book. Now that's not something I would usually read. I'm not into chick lit as a rule, in fact I've never been a girlie girl - more of a tomboy actually. I have more male friends than female and at work I'm one of the lads!
But I feel I will have to read it, if only to find out why the books are so popular! It's been sitting by my bedside for a couple of weeks while I read other books, but tonight's the night - I'm going in! You never know it may just be good. and anyway, you have to try everything at least once, don't you?

So goodnight friends. If ever you need a shoulder, you know where I am....

Convention

The weekend has come around once again. They seem to come quicker every week! I'm not good with weekends, which is funny. Most people who work cant wait for the weekend - trust me to be different!

This weekend has an added bonus. It's the start of the Keswick convention, which for those of you who don't know is a gathering of Christians. It lasts for three weeks and the main convention building is just round the corner from my house.

Now I have nothing against Christians as such. But conventioners are a special type of Christian, unlike anything I have experienced elsewhere. they take over the town in the middle of the summer tourist season and are just not very nice. I realise I'm generalising, but ask anyone that lives here and you will get the same answer.

They spend no money in town, preferring to save their pennies for the collection plate (which is a very expensive collection plate by all accounts).
For example, a friend who works in a local cafe has many tales like the one where three conventioners sat down and ordered a pot of tea for one and three cups. With extra water... Or the ones who bought a small eccles cake to take out but asked for it to be cut into four bits....

Although amusing, this is not why the convention annoys me. Living close to it as I do, it's the arrogant intrusion into our lives that is irritating. The organisers come round with tickets for us locals to put in our cars to allow us to park in our own street!
Driving down the street towards my house, I am inevitably forced to follow convention pedestrians as they wander down the middle of the road towards their centre. A pip of the horn causes them not to move out of my way, but to turn and glare at me as if I have no right to be driving a car on a road.

And when the meetings finish, it's pointless trying to go anywhere in the car as the road becomes a footpath.

Then if on the odd occasion it's nice enough to sit outside in the garden, I get hymns and sermons blasted out at me...

I guess it's a bit like living in London during the Olympics! Only we get the convention every year. Never mind, I'm going to miss some of it this year as I will be in London for the Olympics.

Once the conventions over of course it's the school holidays, which are also a nightmare. Roll on September!

TV or not TV

My TV is on its last legs. I know this because it takes ages to come on, then flickers, sometimes turns off again and then the colour fades in and out for ages....

Mind you it is an old set. It's one of those with a HUGE back, full of cathode ray tubes. So I reckon I need to get a new one. But what a minefield! There are plasma, LED, HD, 3D, USB, flippin heck it's only a telly!
Then there a massive screens - what size do I get?

My room is small, so a huge TV is going to be ridiculous. Do I get built-in freeview and ditch sky? Or do I stick with Sky, but get bluetooth so I can connect devices to the tv?
I started to look at options online, but my mind is about to explode, so I gave up.

If any of you gadget experts out there have any advice, please send it my way...

My new tent arrived today too. It is supposed to be an'easy to erect' tent. But I think I need a degree in engineering to work out what I'm supposed to do. No instructions of course...

Finally worked it out - it's great! Just the right size for me and Archie, so we will be off on a camping adventure soon if this sunshine keeps up. Me, Archie, a good book and a bottle of red. Bliss :)

Lazy copied blog post

I tried Wordpress yesterday but despite all it's promise, it wasn't any easier to use on my iPad than this! It does look nicer and has a few more features than blogger, but the jury is still out on which one I prefer. This is the post I did yesterday, as I am too lazy today to write another :-)



I'm going to have a rant today, well a slight rant anyway!

I want to make a case for the private sector and in particular the manufacturing industries. We hear such a lot from those companies, particularly in the public sector that have a big voice. We in the smaller manufacturing industries don't have such a big voice. So here is my case for us.

Sorry to keep referring to the public sector, but it has the biggest voice of all and that's what I'm always hearing on the news, in the press, etc... But for as long as I can remember, my company has been accountable. To its shareholders and to its financiers. We have been in the game of cost cutting for many, many years now. I watch with disappointment the whinging of civil servants, bankers, teachers,  GPs, etc when they are faced with accountability.  OK, so resources are thinning and people are being stretched. In our industry that happened about 20 years ago and is still happening. We have to get on with it or we're out of business.

We don't have endless supplies of taxpayer money to bail us out. I we don't perform, if the shareholders don't get a decent return on their investment, we are history. For years we've been fighting off competition from cheaper foreign imports, some of which get better in quality year on year. In the UK there used to be many pencil manufacturers - now we the only one remaining. Why? Because we have adapted, changed with the times and fought bloody hard to stay ahead of the game. We're a small team, but we are innovative, creative and hard working. We don't give up when people who leave aren't replaced. We work harder and smarter. We have to share out the jobs that were once done by retirees and find cleverer ways of doing things. 

I'll give you an example: a colleague of mine retired this year and now I am in charge of rubbish! Never have been before, but I'm now responsible for all the environmental aspects, standards and waste in the company (as well as all the things I looked after previously). the pinnacle of my career - manager of rubbish. However, it makes me look at things afresh - how can I combine the environmental standards with the quality ones for example? Rationalise the number of different suppliers who deal with waste? I look on it as a way to improve and a challenge - it's not something that I need to whinge about.

Another example was the year we had foot and mouth in Cumbria. While I felt very sympathetic for the farmers, they were compensated fairly well for their losses, as were the hotel and B&B owners for the downturn in trade. That same year, we had an extremely difficult time and business was awful. No compensation for us - we had to make several people redundant to make ends meet. Not newsworthy enough among the drama of foot and mouth, it went unnoticed that people lost their jobs and others were on short time and very little money....

I hear teachers complaining about ofsted examinations and hospitals complaining about the auditing processes they have to endure. But that's what it's like for us - and has been for years. We have to demonstrate that we are capable of doing the job we do, so why shouldn't public sector workers have to do the same?  Wages aren't very good, I hear from nurses  - but how many of them are on minimum wage? A nurse on basic salary is earning far more than many of the people in the more skilled jobs in our company. OK, you will argue that nurses are doing something more worthwhile - I agree. But without manufacturing bringing money into the country, who will be paying the taxes to fund the salaries of the public sector?

We are now bucking the trend a bit and winning back business that had been farmed out to the far east. Because we enjoy challenges, we adapt and we are determined.

Recently, there's been a lot of noise about pencils, again in the public sector. Doctors I believe were even talking about striking over their terms and conditions.  Now that's my argument about voice.

My final salary pension has just been stopped. Where's my voice? I can't strike - nor would I want to, because if I did, those far eastern competitors would be sitting there waiting to pick up the business that we could no longer provide.

So we will just accept that our pensions are no more, we will grumble for a while, but we'll just get on and face the next challenge.

"Chase your passion, not your pension."
Denis Waitley

Promises, promises.....

I know I promised myself I was going to write every day.
Does this count?

The reason for the failure at the first hurdle is that I am moving my blog over to Wordpress, which seems to have more features that I can use on the iPad.

So this VERY brief blog may well be my last one on this platform.

Had a nice walk today round the back of skiddaw and the funny thing is it poured it down in Keswick and I didn't have any rain at all! I was only 8 miles away at the most before I was heading back again. Bizarre.

Night all :-)

Inspiration

I was thinking about the blog earlier today when I was out walking. The walk was pleasant, a bit humid, but nice all the same. I went up walla, one of my favourite walks and one that Archie loves too. He knows it better than me nowadays. It was nice and quiet too until I got to the top and discovered a school geography trip making enough noise to wake the whole of Keswick!

We had no rain today, unlike other areas, but boy was it hot and humid. Still is.
Walla is so lovely and holds so many happy memories for me. Walked up there one year on my birthday, hand in hand with the love of my life and many times talked to him on the phone from the top of walla. Happy days :-). I hope finally my grieving for those days is coming to an end. I will love him always, but now I love him as a friend and hope that he loves me in the same way. If you read this, gorgeous, I send you a kiss and my best wishes that your current relationship is making you as happy as I want you to be x.

I still enjoy going up there. Sometimes feeling slightly wistful, but even on my own it's a special walk.

Anyway, back to the blog. As I said, I was thinking about it on my walk. Wondering what to write about. I started to think about other blogs I read and Wendy came into my mind.

Wendy is someone I am proud to call a friend. She is inspirational. She's been through so much and yet has handled it all with a maturity that I am envious of, even though she is half my age. The reason she came into my mind was that she blogs. Regularly. She set herself the challenge of blogging daily and has stuck to that promise she made to herself, through thick and thin; through bad times and good. And she's had some bloody bad times. But what I find so inspirational is her openness. I have read about her ups and downs, expressed with such genuine open honesty, cried and laughed at the different subjects she has blogged about. But above all, I am full of admiration for the way she has bared her soul to us, her readers, sharing all her emotions so openly.

If I had possessed as much sense and maturity as Wendy when I was her age ( or even now for that matter) I wouldn't be in the mess I am at the moment! Wendy, I salute you....


Plus, she is a bloody good artist. I like to think I can draw, but she's at another level entirely. Such talent for drawing and writing. Wendy will go far in her life, of that I'm sure. I wish had half the strength of character that girl has.

So, if Wendy can blog every day after what she has been through, why can't I? I've had it pretty easy, so it should be easy to write every day.
I will try and do it. When I feel down, which is usually at weekends, like now, I will think about what she's suffered and give myself a shake.

to Wendy.... I raise my glass to you in admiration :-)

I love your blog. It is inspirational indeed.

Phew - finished at last!

I finally finished the last picture for the exhibition tonight. I was going to send them in tonight but when I took photos of them, they weren't good. Too dark by the time I finished and with flash, the colours were subdued. So I will take pics of them in daylight tomorrow and submit my entries.

Then I just wait to see if they pass the judging for selection into the exhibition.

Heres a sneak preview for you, loyal blog readers. :-)
Remember that the photos of them aren't good, so don't be too harsh in your criticism...

Title: As sweet as honey

Title: Antarctic swim team

T'other side o t'wall

To write right...

Although this blog isn't very well written and doesn't contain the most thrilling narrative in the world, the surprising thing is that I have rather taken to this writing thing. As some people will testify, I sometimes have difficulty with stopping myself from writing reams and reams of stuff. Sometimes it is nonsense, sometimes therapeutic and occasionally good. But the thing is it is all practice. I am in a lovely little writing group in Cockermouth, where the others are very encouraging about the things I write. I get constructive feedback and so enjoy listening to their work. Although sometimes, their stuff is so good I wonder if I will ever be able to write anything worthwhile.

Mostly we just write short pieces based on a monthly theme and it's fascinating to discover the different ways people handle the same subject. I do sometimes wonder if my writing bug is so prevalent because I don't spend a lot of time conversing with people. When I'm in a group of people I don't know I am very shy and find it hard to make conversation. Even one to one it's difficult for me to express myself. But on paper or online I can be someone else. I can write about anything that's I my head without having the fear of someone putting me down or laughing at what I say. Those ate hang ups left over form my childhood!

Writing here I can say whatever I want without fear. That's why I love it.

I'm even thinking of writing a novel. In fact I've made a good start on it. I have the plot sorted and the characters; I just need to develop my writing style so it's more accomplished and readable. So, dear reader, if you start see an improvement let me know!!

Tonight I almost finished the picture ive been working on. But I was in danger of rushing the lat bit and spoiling it, so have left it now to finish off tomorrow. But hurray - I will get it finished in time for the exhibition deadline.

Once the pictures have been submitted, I will do a bit of the novel.

Then it's time for the Olympics.

My duties include standing outside the stadium with a giant pink foam hand! How cool will that be?

Lol

Night night lovely people xx

Bleeping computers

Ive been quite busy this week trying to finish my entries for the UK coloured pencil society exhibition. The deadline for entries is 7th June so not much time. I really need to be sending the entry on Friday so no pressure....

I think I might finish though. I have certainly finished one entry, but was hoping to enter two or three - more chance of getting one selected by the jury for the exhibition.
Because of the drawing I haven't had much time to do anything else, but did briefly have a look at my now defunct laptop.

It's been buggered for a while now. The graphics card burned out and it's quite an old Dell so not worth repairing really. But there is a bit of stuff on the hard drive that I could do with retrieving, particularly some photos.

So I removed the hard drive and acquired a USB to sata/IDE cable. Now I'm told that this should have sufficient power to recognise the Hdd as an external disk drive. But I cannot get it to work. Plugged in to my desktop PC, there was a brief moment of recognition on the screen, then nothing. The PC. Detected that something was attached, but didn't recognise it as a disk drive.
I don't know whether it's insufficient power, or whether it's the connections. The Hdd is an IDE and has 48 pins, the last 4 of which are jumpers.
The USB connector has 44, so I connected it to the main 44 ignoring the jumper pins. Not sure if this is right though.

Hoping some of you PC experts out there might have some ideas..... Bill?

I suppose I'll figure it out eventually, but just hoping for a short cut. By the way, the USB/IDE has an additional power cable - with a connector to fit to the motherboard. Was trying to do the job without opening my desktop case.....

Is anyone else sick of this rain? Maybe it's because we're in Cumbria where it rains more than anywhere else, but damn it, it's supposed to be July!
And although I do like walking in the rain, it's not so good when the weather is so warm, as waterproofs are so hot to wear, even the breathable kind. Much better in winter to walk in the rain, when I can get wrapped up in the waterproof gear without cooking...

Bedtime, so I will say goodnight. Maybe I will finish my pictures tomorrow. Hope so x

Gibberish

Well, for those of you who did read yesterday's blog, i was right! It was gibberish.

Never mind, sometimes a bit of gibberish isn't a bad thing :-)

And while on that subject, has anyone read 'God's own country' by Ross
Raisin?

I'd like some opinions on it, as I found it a fascinating book, full of anomalies. Written from the perspective of a man who at times seemed intelligent, then at other times retarded, it followed his rather solitary and harsh upbringing in the Yorkshire countryside. It was written in dialect, which I did like. It's a well written book, but I have some difficulties with the plot.

So if youve read it I'd love an opinion, particularly on the ending.
I will say no more about the story, in case anyone is tempted to readit and then maybe we can discuss it..

In the meantime I am off for a walk with my faithful companion :-)

J - thanks for feeding the fish x

End of June

Half of this year has gone already. I sometimes step back and wonder where the time is going. It passes so very quickly that I don't notice most days. Then suddenly I realise that another year is over.

The last two years have gone particularly quickly, I guess because I haven't been entirely aware of everything around me.
But before I start dwelling on that idea, I will move on. I promised there would be no more whining and I intend to keep that promise. Suffice to say I am making a huge effort today :-)


The good news is I managed to finish a picture for the ukcps exhibition. I will try and upload it in the next few days and give you a preview of my entry. Hope it is accepted.

I've been playing on YouTube since I finished the drawing. Found loads of old music from my youth - some fab stuff that I'd forgotten about. Isn't YouTube great? You can find just about anything on there endless hours of fun!

Deep down I'm an optimist, I've always been told that. So I'm pretty certain that things will improve sooner or later.

I really should go to bed now. Had a few glasses of red, which by the way did make me feel better. I'm typing gibberish, aren't I? Never mind, no-one reads it anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

What is the purpose of a blog? I've read some that are really interesting, entertaining or informative. Mine is like therapy. I use the blog as my confidante, my friend, a listener. In the absence of a real confidante, this is a pretty good substitute.

So now I've chatted to you, mr blog, I'll go to bed and try and read a book.

I hope you are all happy.

May the gentle rain of happiness fall soft upon your head xxxxx

Goodnight. Sweet dreams x